Ever since my whole ordeal started, I've been trying to find a way to get over the lingering urges to punch Matt in the face (or in another part of his anatomy, although that could sour my chances in the event that things work out…). I don't like being angry all the time, whether justified or not -- it doesn't feel healthy and is deepening my wrinkles. I've been doing a ton of research on buddhism; not because I want to become a Buddhist, but because I am desperately in need of the wisdom these peaceful and loving individuals use to get through the trials of life. I found a wonderful book at the library, by Pema Chodron. It's called "The Places that Scare You," and it is chock-full of nuggets such as this:
"Suffering is the result of an aggressive mind. Even slight irritation causes us pain when we indulge in it. This is the time to ask 'why am I doing this to myself again?'…We begin to recognize that we have what it takes to cut through our habit of eating poison."
I'm off to be peaceful now.